Out With The Critic, In With The Woo-Woo
My goal in business is helping women in spiritual niches create business brands they align with using Astrology.
Many of these women may come from a similar background as me:
Going from regular every-day jobs to these deeply spiritual, personal, relationship centric specialties.
And in doing that, we have all dealt with it:
Shame.
Shame at breaking the conventional mold.
Let's face it: This is not an easy transition for those of us whose life training has been about other people.
And not to mention, the common titles of "Nurse", "Receptionist", "Realtor", "Teacher", have a better chance of social acceptance than "Reiki practitioner", "Life coach", or "Astrologer".
This newsletter is meant to address the feeling of shame for choosing your path - In particular a path that is technically "woo-woo".
The Pattern of the Inner Critic
When I first discovered that Astrology may actually be my thing, my own inner critic was the first to tell me I had lost my mind.
Now I realize that what chance would I stand in telling others if my own INNER VOICE thought I was cray?
This critic is about as useful as Yelp (You can never access anything on there and NO, you can't have my email!)
As I sat with this critic more, I now understand that this is a part of me coming to the surface for healing.
These past 4 months have caused me to really look at that part that feels shame at being who I am becoming.
I have understood that my Libra moon self is really sensitive to judgement to the point of fearing it.
And so, I have this tendency to really pick on myself whenever I am afraid of being judged.
If I can judge myself first, then I can alter whatever they're going to judge about me and make them more agreeable to it instead.
(In essence, I predict their judgement and try to change myself to gain their acceptance.)
In my own subconscious, that has been my solution all these years.
It has been my way to avoid the "you're insane" look when I come clean about being an Astrologer.
We just don't understand our patterns till we look closely at them.
What is your critic telling you?
When you first admitted to yourself that you were going into XYZ specialty and leaving your "normal" job to do something daring and different, what did it tell you?
Reflect on that.
And let me tell you, what it says it not important, but more so, what it is NOT being said.
My critic didn't come out and tell me "I'm afraid of rejection because it makes me feel like an unwanted human being!"
My critic masked that and instead said. "B*tch you are going to look like a fool to other people doing this woo-woo stuff."
Look behind the curtain as to why this critic is saying these things.
Sit with the embodiment of shame long enough to let it reveal information to you.
The "Why" behind the Inner Critic
And to be clear, this critic isn't a bad part.
No part of you is.
It is a part that developed to try to keep us away from doing anything "wrong".
When we were children. we may have been shamed for "doing the wrong thing".
As adults, this translates to there being a "right or wrong way" in life and that some things are dishonorable or improper.
As a result, shame produces fear.
If we feel like we have done something dishonorable, we fear the consequence and stop the action.
The consequences may include fear of breaking the status quo, fear of being an outsider, fear of not being good enough, fear of "selling out" on your ego identity, fear of being unwanted.
Shame is an interesting emotion once you observe it.
It bubbles up at pretty predictable times.
Just walks right in your front door any time it smells like you're cooking something just to make sure nothing is on fire.
Any time you will try to advance yourself, shame will pop in.
Any time you are trying to learn something new for your success, there comes shame, eating your chips again.
Shame is a sign that you are branching out onto new things.
And handling shame is a new skill to master if you're going to build any business, but ESPECIALLY the woo-woo ones.
Things I have found that have helped have been:
Ask yourself smaller questions.
Avoid questions like, "what is my purpose?" "What do I want to do for the rest of my life?"
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Questions like "What feels fun to me now?" "What would I like to get better at now?" are more effective and don't trip up the shame alarm as much.
2. Don't give your shame any ammo.
The more you do the thing you want to do, your shame gets smaller and smaller.
Eventually, those right and wrong filters fade into the background.
3. Keep your eyes on the big picture.
At the end of your life, there will be even GREATER shame if you stop now.
4. No one else's expectations, biases, perspectives, narratives, stories, opinions, judgements matter when it comes to your business.
You have the right to claim what is yours.
Your niche is independent of right and wrong.
It is a niche that resonates with clients to help them.
There isn't a right or wrong way to do that.
Now I kick it back to you:
What are your experiences with shame as a subscriber of things woo-woo?
I hope it helps you-- Please reach out and email me for any comments or feedback!
🩷 Molls