I was in a group conversation recently about birth order.

One person in the group was born as the middle child to two overly problematic siblings.

Another person was born 10 years apart from their sibling and grew up for all intensive purposes, lonely.

Something as simple as birth order made me reflect on the immense amount of "chance" that goes into our lives: The order you're born in determines your entire childhood experience.

But in reality, our lives aren't about "chance".

We CHOSE every detail about our upbringing before coming to this Earthly plane.

And even if you didn't believe in this, what is the more helpful perspective?:

1.) I ended up being the eldest so I raised my siblings and it sucked my childhood away.

or

2.) I CHOSE to be first born in order to experience the raising of my siblings so I could grow up with a unique perspective and vantage point no one else has on child-rearing.

Which brings me to the topic of this newsletter:

It is ALL about how you play your cards.

Playing your cards might not always mean taking action on them, it might mean reframing them mentally.

If you can't change the cards you were handed, the next most helpful action is to reframe them.

Why?

To some people it might feel like ignorance, it might feel like you're "lying" to yourself.

That is not what reframing is.

It is staying truthful to the WHOLE story.

Yes, your upbringing might've sucked subjectively but OBJECTIVELY, you gained A LOT of skills from it that make you unique and awesome.

Reframing something doesn't condone the events or mean it is something you'd choose again.

It is the act of removing the emotional charge from them aka the power they have over you by reframing them into an objective truth.

It is taking a step back in perspective and gathering the whole picture.

The thing about reframing that no one talks about is, it takes time and effort to actually synthesize an objective truth.

It is not done overnight.

We have invested years if not decades up until this point with an emotionally charged story about our situations.

Grant yourself grace as you explore what reframing them looks like.

Your reframe can also be found via questions you ask yourself.

How did that event lead you to this moment?

What would you not have right now if that didn't happen?

Exploratory questions can aid in reframing.

That's really the big benefit of having someone like a therapist who can do it with you OR having an Astrologer who can help you gain clarity on the big picture.

Please reach out and email me back for any comments or feedback!

🩷 Molls