To All Who Have Healed - How?
Yeah I talk about healing, and self improvement and helping women reclaim lost confidence, and all that…. but I realized something.
I haven’t actually ever laid out a direct path to healing.
And that is for good reason: Everyone’s path to healing look different.
What has worked for others, may not work for you.
I know that acupuncture never helped me and neither did Reiki but I know two people for which it has.
Astrology has helped me, but hey, it doesn’t work for some!
There is no “one path” to healing.
But what I CAN say is, there are commonalities amongst all those who HAVE healed.
I would say, conditions or “environments” in which healing best happens.
Environments are important.
Imagine you’re healing from hip surgery in an environment that requires you to get up and walk the next day.
Your hip won’t EVER heal that way.
You have to first do the crutches, and the physical therapy, and the icing, etc. before you’re back to full function with a new hip.* I know most of us reading this aren’t due for hip replacements any time soon, but you get me.
There is an environment to healing of self-abandonment and limiting beliefs that has to be there before you can even think about welcoming your new self.
This is universal.
The environment you create for healing isn’t a one and done thing either.
It is more of a lifestyle you adopt.
There are 3 top “environments” necessary across the board to heal:
1.) Let go of the victim mentality.
2.) Get out of situations/tendencies that promote self-abandonment.
3.) Understand that you are part of a bigger tapestry in the universe.
1. Let go of the victim mentality. True healing will NEVER happen until you take 100% responsibility for yourself.
I remember the day I accepted the task of self-healing.
It was June 4, 2019.
I was living in Miami, sitting in my apartment with my life coach over Zoom.
I remember her bringing this idea of accepting responsibility for my inner child to my attention.
Prior to this, I had no idea what that really was - I mean, I’d hear a thing or two on IG, but this wasn’t as commonly heard as it is now.
She ran me through visualizations, meditations, that showed me how I had abandoned my self.
I finished my session.
I was REALLY impacted, guys. I mean… I had just finished a visualization that showed me how much my inner little Molly needed me. And I was never there.
I began to talk to the universe, out loud.
“I will reclaim my inner child. I will save myself. I will grow, I will find happiness, I will thrive.”
Over and over again, I chanted it till I believed it.
So began my inner child healing journey.
Taking accountability for my life, meant I had to leave behind all the excuses as to why everything sucked, why my parents sucked, my childhood sucked etc. etc.
I had to leave behind the story.
I had to leave behind the victim mentality.
No one is responsible for you anymore - It is your job now.
You could be mad it happened — It can’t be the reason you sit and don’t do anything about it.
You have to clean up your messes, even if someone else made them.
Astrology also helped me with this one, understanding that I am able to influence my life more than I think.
2. The other condition to consider for true healing is you may have to get out of situations that fuel your self-abandonment tendencies.
This is where you work on prioritizing what’s good for you, for what may be the first time.
It may mean you have to look at where you’re over extending yourself or leaving relationships all together!
It may mean you have to set up boundaries for the first time.
This is truly where you’re changing the external to match the internal goal of YOU being on top.
When I was in this “step” (It isn’t really a step, it’s a lifestyle), I changed jobs to give myself more breathing room and less stress.
I left toxic romantic relationships.
I developed a daily inner child connection routine, prayer, explored my spirituality, developed new interests.
Even till now (because the fun never stops), I have realized that I NEED creative outlets like drawing otherwise, there is a part in me that feels unsatisfied.
It doesn’t end. but it’s the best ongoing effort you’ll make.
Another thing I learned later in my healing journey that would’ve saved me LOADS of time, was understanding that me trying to CHANGE myself instead of making ROOM for myself, was promoting self-abandonment.
Let me explain:
Let’s say a part of you feels shame every time you gain any amount of weight.
You start to fight that part with “I do not feel shame, I love my body, screw you!” you’re basically engaging in toxic positivity.
Not everything has to always be perfect with you.
You are allowed to both love and feel sad for yourself.
Not every part of you has to absolutely change.
It has to be ok to gain weight and to NOT gain weight.
By denying your own feelings, even the bad ones, you are effectively saying “Self, you’re wrong for how you feel. F**k off.”
THAT is self-abandonment.
When you can get to a point where you feel at least curious as to why your part feels that way, THAT is when you are no longer self-abandoning.
Remember these are parts of you.
You can be WITH these feelings and not reject them or try to change them.
That’s the key healing environment: Acceptance.
3. The last thing I would say generally everyone needs to heal is to develop an understanding of their place in the universe.
You. Are. Part. Of. A. Greater. Fabric.
I only ever learned this when I began to believe in a higher power and started studying astrology.
Learning that you are worthy by birth right and MEANT to be here, goes a long way in terms of healing self-abandonment.
You are an important person in any room.
You deserve to have happiness and greatness.
Knowing you’re part of something greater connects you to a sense of purpose.
You NEED that to heal.
Whelp, I did it again… a long a*s newsletter.
I hope this newsletter helps you and remember I LOVE YOU! Kthnxbai.
Email me with any comments or questions, I answer EVERY email!
Hasta next week :)