Say it with me:

I shall NOT choose a life I have to force alignment with.

I WILL choose a life that aligns with ME.

It took my entire 20's and early 30's to understand this fundamental life lesson.

TBH, this should be taught to people going to universities and colleges around the globe. (Please don't nominate me for president, I wouldn't do well in politics.)

We all fall into this trap of choosing a life we have to mold ourselves to keep up with, instead of choosing what we want and going with that.

When I was 19 years old, I remember choosing a career with solid emphasis on title and pay.

Why did I choose this?

Because I thought that in order to be successful, I had to do something other people considered successful.

What happened was my a*s climbed the career ladder to the highest possible position I could for 10 years, only to feel totally dissatisfied with the life I chose the entire time.

NOTHING could be more deflating and gratitude wasn't cutting it.

I felt ashamed of feeling ungrateful for the prestige I built.

On paper it looked nice... but my life didn't have enough of ME in it.

I took so much time trying to fit into an uncomfortable stiletto instead of wearing the freaking combat boots I wanted all along.

It wasn't until I took a step back and pivoted towards authenticity that I actually started liking my own life.

STARTED LIKING MY LIFE - Please hear that statement.

IF you find you aren't fulfilled with your life, like it, or are satisfied, chances are you have aligned with something that wasn't YOUR vision to begin with.

And it makes sense that this happens to all of us: We feel the need to shape ourselves to fit the role society says we have to fit.

Get the university degree.

Marry an opposite sex partner.

Work a 9-5.

Eat a certain way, dress a certain way, be a certain way.

Before you know it, your life isn't your own anymore.

We fall prey to following a script for a role we aren't even meant to play.

Living authentically is something we may not think about until we feel suffocated by our scripted lives.

Then comes the work of figuring out what aligns with YOU.

Figuring out what aligns with you means you determine what your values are and what boundaries you're willing to uphold to make sure your life aligns with those values.

It all starts with you determining what is MOST important to you (These are your values).

From your job, to the money you make, to your work out routine, to your nutrition, to your personal time, to your family and friends time, etc. you can align ALL these things with your values.

Values can be bunched into categories.

What are examples of values?

• Freedom

• Family

• Fulfillment

• Creativity

• Fun

• Health

• Wealth

• Growth

• Career

How do we know what aligns with us?

• We don't feel like we are being dragged through the mud everyday.

• We feel good when we do it.

• We fell liberated and free.

• It feels challenging but rewarding.

• We feel satisfied.

• We feel like we are growing/expanding.

• We feel a deep sense of commitment to it.

• Your life is made better by it.

• What you're doing is important to you.

Notice a lot of FEELING goes into figuring out what aligns with you. Like I said, I had a high powered life that had nothing wrong with it on paper... but I felt out of place.

You have to be willing to go into your feelings and investigate.

It was after investigating those feelings that I was able to figure out the misalignment.

So let's take some examples of what misalignment may look like:

• You work for a cause you don't resonate with.

• Your 9a-5p work shift has you unable to wake up with peace, you instead wake up to face traffic.

• Your job pays you more money than you need in exchange for overworking you.

• You're in a relationship that you feel doesn't add to your growth as a person..

• Your life is so busy you don't have time for growing a business.

• You overcrowd your day and don't have time to make a healthy dinner at the end of the day so you eat out.

These are examples of identifying your boundaries and aligning life with YOU:

• You change to working a later shift in the day to have more peaceful mornings and get personal work done since you're a morning bird.

• You take a pay cut but work for a cause you enjoy.

• You leave the relationship to garner personal growth.

• You decide that your business is a priority and schedule life around that.

• You begin to set a strict end time at work so you have time to cook dinner and not order out.

Once you find the way you want your life to look, your boundaries do a good job of maintaining those values at the forefront, but you have to choose what you're willing to sacrifice in exchange.

When I decided I was going to align my life with freedom, I knew that meant I was going to take a pay cut.

TBH, living in alignment in our modern society is hard because there is no way to win.

Yes we all want to have financial freedom and have no boss, but in this society, that lifestyle may also come with disadvantages (But then again, working for a boss does too).

I will risk sounding like a conspiracy theorist for this one:

Our society is built to help the 1% make money.

They don't care about alignment, about comfort, about security.

It is your job to make it happen for you.

And unfortunately in prioritizing what is of greatest value to you, there is no way to win it all.

Following your values may mean:

You'll pick a job that you love in a field other people look down upon.

You'll have less time with your loved ones in order to make more money.

You working a part-time to gain more freedom, may mean less money.

The point here is to not say that by choosing a life that aligns with you will not give you hardships.

It might.

But what I'm saying is living in a way where you have to mold and conform yourself to a lifestyle that isn't yours also has its hardship so why not choose a life that aligns with you?

I hope it helps you-- Please reach out and email me for any comments or feedback!

🩷 Molls